Post by Pat on Jul 16, 2012 16:52:12 GMT
Such an unfair world. When a man talks dirty to a woman its considered sexual harassment. When a woman talks dirty to a man its £2.50/min
(charges may vary).
....................................................................................................
Got stopped in the street outside Boots today by a woman with a
clipboard asking "What products do I use for grooming?" She was a bit taken aback when I replied, "Facebook".
.........................................................................................................
Just booked a table for Valentine’s Day for me and the wife. Bound to end in tears though - she's crap at snooker.
........................................................................................................
Met a beautiful girl down at the park today. Sparks flew, she fell at my feet and we ended up having sex there and then. God, I love my new Taser!
........................................................................................................
Got a new Jack Russell pup today, he's mainly black and brown with just a small white area so I've called him Bradford.
........................................................................................................
If you get an email telling you that you can catch Swine Flu from tins of ham then delete it. It’s Spam.
........................................................................................................
They say that sex is the best form of exercise. Now correct me if I'm wrong but I don't think 2 minutes and 15 seconds every 3 months is going to shift this beer belly.
........................................................................................................
I’ve just watched a documentary about children being beaten and abused in Indian sweatshops. Looking at the quality of stitching on my new trainers the little b**tards deserved it!
........................................................................................................
When I was a kid people used to cover me in chocolate and cream and put a cherry on my head. Yeah, life was tough in the gateau.
........................................................................................................
The local shop ran out of milk again due to the freezing weather,
fortunately, my elderly neighbour Ethel has plenty stacked up on her doorstep.
(charges may vary).
....................................................................................................
Got stopped in the street outside Boots today by a woman with a
clipboard asking "What products do I use for grooming?" She was a bit taken aback when I replied, "Facebook".
.........................................................................................................
Just booked a table for Valentine’s Day for me and the wife. Bound to end in tears though - she's crap at snooker.
........................................................................................................
Met a beautiful girl down at the park today. Sparks flew, she fell at my feet and we ended up having sex there and then. God, I love my new Taser!
........................................................................................................
Got a new Jack Russell pup today, he's mainly black and brown with just a small white area so I've called him Bradford.
........................................................................................................
If you get an email telling you that you can catch Swine Flu from tins of ham then delete it. It’s Spam.
........................................................................................................
They say that sex is the best form of exercise. Now correct me if I'm wrong but I don't think 2 minutes and 15 seconds every 3 months is going to shift this beer belly.
........................................................................................................
I’ve just watched a documentary about children being beaten and abused in Indian sweatshops. Looking at the quality of stitching on my new trainers the little b**tards deserved it!
........................................................................................................
When I was a kid people used to cover me in chocolate and cream and put a cherry on my head. Yeah, life was tough in the gateau.
........................................................................................................
The local shop ran out of milk again due to the freezing weather,
fortunately, my elderly neighbour Ethel has plenty stacked up on her doorstep.
