Post by vfrdaz on May 3, 2011 20:31:06 GMT
The following is an actual question given on a University of Arizona
chemistry mid term, and an actual answer turned in by a student.
The answer by one student was so 'profound' that the professor
shared it with colleagues, via the Internet, which is, of course, why
we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well :
Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs
heat)?
Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs
using Boyle's Law (gas cools when it expands and heats when it is
compressed) or some variant.
One student, however, wrote
the following:
First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is
changing in time. So we need to know the rate at which souls are moving
into Hell and the rate at which they are leaving, which is unlikely.. I
think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will
not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving. As for how many souls are
entering Hell, let's look at the different religions that exist in the
world today.
Most of these religions state that if you are not
a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there is more
than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than
one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell. With birth and
death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to
increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change of the
volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for the
temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell
has to expand proportionately as souls are added.
This gives
two possibilities:
1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate
than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and
pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose.
2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls
in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes
over.
So which is it?
If we accept the postulate given to
me by Teresa during my Freshman year that, 'It will be a cold day in
Hell before I sleep with you,' and take into account the fact that I
slept with her last night, then number two must be true, and thus I am
sure that Hell is exothermic and has already frozen over. The corollary
of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it follows that it
is not accepting any more souls and is therefore, extinct..... ....
leaving only Heaven, thereby proving the existence of a divine being
which explains why, last night, Teresa kept shouting 'Oh my God.'
THIS STUDENT RECEIVED AN A+.
chemistry mid term, and an actual answer turned in by a student.
The answer by one student was so 'profound' that the professor
shared it with colleagues, via the Internet, which is, of course, why
we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well :
Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs
heat)?
Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs
using Boyle's Law (gas cools when it expands and heats when it is
compressed) or some variant.
One student, however, wrote
the following:
First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is
changing in time. So we need to know the rate at which souls are moving
into Hell and the rate at which they are leaving, which is unlikely.. I
think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will
not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving. As for how many souls are
entering Hell, let's look at the different religions that exist in the
world today.
Most of these religions state that if you are not
a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there is more
than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than
one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell. With birth and
death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to
increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change of the
volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for the
temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell
has to expand proportionately as souls are added.
This gives
two possibilities:
1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate
than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and
pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose.
2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls
in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes
over.
So which is it?
If we accept the postulate given to
me by Teresa during my Freshman year that, 'It will be a cold day in
Hell before I sleep with you,' and take into account the fact that I
slept with her last night, then number two must be true, and thus I am
sure that Hell is exothermic and has already frozen over. The corollary
of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it follows that it
is not accepting any more souls and is therefore, extinct..... ....
leaving only Heaven, thereby proving the existence of a divine being
which explains why, last night, Teresa kept shouting 'Oh my God.'
THIS STUDENT RECEIVED AN A+.